White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
