Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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