Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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