I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
