even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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