4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
