This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
