wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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