i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I AM VODKA MAN
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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