I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
