Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize