Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
