Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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