ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
