I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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