I love black thongs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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