Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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