So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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