dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
