Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He did a backflip because drugs
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
