Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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