with your own penis?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
