R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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