My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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