Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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