im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
