I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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