Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
