No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
