You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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