my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
