Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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