I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
