my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
