I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
