vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
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You are the jesus of drinking
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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