I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
someone owes me an orgasm
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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