she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
