Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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