So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
