you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
