garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
