We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Your penis caused this!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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