i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
