And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
