i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
