She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
