Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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