I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
