Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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