we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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