She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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