think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
