Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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