just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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