At least make sure they are 18
Why
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
