the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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