Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
