so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
