I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
