He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
