someone get that fucking seahorse.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
