That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
