i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
